Disbelief and shock
Fear and anxiety about the future
Disorientation, apathy and emotional numbing
Irritability and anger
Sadness and depression
Feeling powerless
Extreme hunger or lack of appetite
Difficulty making decisions
Crying for “no apparent reason”
Headaches and stomach problems
Difficulty sleeping
Excessive drinking or drug use

Normally these symptoms decrease gradually, but everyone progresses through them at a different pace. Therefore one should not be compared to others' progress in coping with disasters.

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What You Can Do
  -Talk about your feelings. Not expressing your feelings will keep you from being able to work through what  happened. By talking with others, you will relieve stress and realize that other people share your feelings.

  -Get plenty of rest and exercise. Remember to eat well. Avoid excessive drinking and risk-taking activities.

  -Spend time with your family. If you have any children, encourage them to discuss their concerns and feelings with you.

  -As soon as it feels comfortable, go back to your usual routine.

  -Do things that you find relaxing and soothing.

  -Recall other times you have experienced strong emotions and how they were resolved.

  -Do something positive that will help you gain a greater sense of control (for example, give blood, take a first aid class or donate food or clothing).

  -If you feel overwhelmed by the disaster, ask for help. It’s not a sign of weakness. Talk with a trusted relative, friend, social worker, or clergy member.

If you have strong feelings that won’t go away or if you are troubled for longer than four to six weeks, you may want to seek professional help. People who have existing mental health problems and those who have survived past trauma may also want to check in with a mental health care professional. Being unable to manage your responses to the disaster and resume your regular activities may be symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), a real and treatable illness. Help is available.

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Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
     According to the National Mental Health Association, "Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is an extremely debilitating condition that can occur after exposure to a terrifying event or ordeal in which grave physical harm occurred or was threatened." PTSD is triggered by traumatic events, including military service during times of war, rape, assault, or natural or manmade disasters. The traumatic event is often re-experienced over and over again within flashbacks, dreams, nightmares, memories, or frightening thoughts, and is usually triggered by an object or event that resembles the original event. Anniversaries of the event can also trigger symptoms. People suffering with PTSD may have difficulty sleeping, experience depression, anxiety, irritability, and anger. They may also feel emotionally numb and have feeling of guilt. To be positively diagnosed as PTSD, these symptoms must occur for more than a month.

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Coping With Loss After a Disaster
     There are really no words to describe exactly what it feels like to lose a loved one. It is one of the most difficult ordeals that a person will have to go through in their lifetime, and it oftentimes brings about feelings of guilt, denial and disbelief, anger, confusion, deep sadness, humiliation, despair , shock, yearning, and emptiness. Add the chaos and destruction of a disaster, and these feelings may increase in intensity. The processes of grieving (outwardly expressing your loss through physical actions, such as crying) and mourning (accepting ones death often through traditional family and religious practices) after an individual's death vary from person to person. Some people may be very emotional, while others may show no emotions at all. Still others may express their feelings of grief and loss in physical ailments, such as stomach upsets, anxiety attacks, and sleep disturbances. In extreme cases, people have even been known to become suicidal.
      Grief is a natural emotion to experience after the loss of a loved one. It is a vital process in mental health maintenance. One should not try to suppress grief, but allow the grieving process to occur. Below are several tips to help cope with loss and grief.

Maintain your health. Eat regularly. Eat the right foods. Get plenty of rest. See your physician on a regular basis. Be aware of the potential of dependence to drugs possibly prescribed to you to help with anxiety, relaxation, or sleep.

Find and surround yourself with caring people. Friends and relatives that have been through similar circumstances and that have gone through the grieving process can often be one of the biggest supports during times of loss. Grief/Loss support groups also have been known to be effective when working through the grieving process.

Express your feelings. Don't be afraid to tell others how you are feeling. Talking about the sources of your grief and how you are feeling may be painful, but, in the long run, it is highly effective when working through the grieving process.

Make the effort to continue to live your life. Grief has a tendency to trap people within their past as memories of their loved one rule a majority of their thoughts. While this is natural, don't forget that you must continue to live your present life, as well.

Postpone major life changes. Give yourself time to adjust to the changes that a loss of a loved one can bring, before you continue with other changes, such as getting married, having a child, moving, or changing jobs.

Be patient. Realize that working through the loss of a loved one can take a long time, but the constant pain will dull, and eventually fade. Memories may bring back painful feelings, but these will gradually go from being a frequent occurrence, longer intervals between occurrences.

Seek professional help if necessary. If your grief seems unbearable, seeking professional help is a valid way to assist you through. Many people see professional assistance as a weakness, but in all actuality, it is one of the biggest sources of strength that one can tap into. There are a wide variety of people to choose from - from pastors, priests, and/or church elders, to grief counselors, psychologists, and psychiatrists - all of which can offer a therapeutic environment to aid in working through grief and loss.

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Helping Others Grieve
Sometimes others in our life are grieving. Below are some tips to be a supportive individual during this difficult time.

Allow them and encourage them to share their feelings and memories of their loved one.


Offer practical help. Try to ease your loved one's burden by relieving some of their day to day activities, such as cooking meals, baby-sitting, and running errands.

Don’t offer false comfort. It is understandable that you may not know how to react to the situation, but it doesn't’t help the grieving person when you say “it was for the best” or “you’ll get over it in time.” Instead, offer a simple expression of sorrow and take time to listen. Sometimes, all that is needed is a hug and a shoulder to cry on.

Be patient. Remember that it can take a long time to recover from a major loss. Make yourself available to talk, offer comfort, or provide a distraction from the situation, such as going to the movies, or going for a walk.

Encourage professional help when necessary. Do not be afraid to suggest professional help if you feel that your loved one is not working through their grief.

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Helping Children Cope with Disaster And Loss
     The time after a disaster can be just as stressful for a child as it is for an adult. Their view of the disaster varies with age, as does their way of coping with the situation that they have been thrown into. Because of their age, children may not be able to fully understand the complete extent of has happened, and what may presently be happening around them. They may realize that their life and the lives of their loved ones have been put in danger, but may not realize that the disaster could not only injure, but kill members of their friends and family.
      Children experience the same feelings of helplessness and lack of control that disaster-related stress can bring about. Unlike adults, however, children have little experience to help them place their current situation into perspective. Adults need to be aware that, although they may not understand exactly what is going on around them, children sense the anxiety and tension in adults around them. It is important for adults to support children through these trying times by encouraging them to share their feelings, and being there to listen to their concerns. Children need much reassurance about situations, as well as a return and maintenance of their routine. Please keep in mind that depending on their age, children may cope with disaster differently.

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      Children deal with death in many different ways, and not necessarily in the same manner as adults. Here are some common ways children might respond to a death:
  -Sadness
  -Denial, shock and confusion
  -Anger and irritability
  -Inability to sleep
  -Nightmares
  -Loss of appetite
  -Fear of being alone
  -Physical complaints such as stomachaches and headaches
  -Loss of concentration
  -Guilt over failure to prevent the loss
  -Depression or a loss of interest in daily activities and events
  -Acting much younger for an extended period or reverting to earlier behaviors (e.g., bed wetting, “baby talk” or thumb-sucking)
  -Boisterous play
  -Withdrawal from friends
  -Sharp drop in school performance or refusal to attend school
  -Excessively imitating or asking questions about the deceased or making repeated statements of wanting to join the deceased
  -Inventing games about dying
  -Profound emotional reactions (e.g., anxiety attacks, chronic fatigue or thoughts of suicide)

Tips for Helping Children and Adolescents Grieve
-Children will express their grief in a variety of ways and may appear to be unaffected by the death.

-Preschoolers have difficulty understanding that death is not temporary

-Children between the ages of five and nine begin to experience grief more like adults.

-Don’t push children to talk about their feelings. Children, like adults, need time to grieve and be upset. Let them know you are ready to listen, and provide reassurance and validation of their feelings when they express them.

Here are some issues to consider when helping a child overcome loss:

- Be aware that children are concrete thinkers. Give them honest, simple answers to their questions without overloading them with information. To lessen their confusion, avoid expressions such as “passed on” or “went to sleep.”

- Children commonly express their grief through physical activities. Observe their activities and behavior, and understand and support their play and actions as their “language” of grief. Offer reassurance.

- Death is often a common fear among children. Allow them to openly express that fear and validate what they are feeling. Offer them words of comfort appropriate for their age, and share positive, happy memories of the person who died.

-Children need the freedom to choose if or how they want to remember/memorialize a loved one, how they want to grieve that loss. Help the child plant a tree or dedicate a place in memory of the person who died.

- Make sure that you include your children within the family grieving process. Although they may be young, they need to feel included, especially since they will most likely be the most confused over this new traumatic situation. Children grieve the person and the “changed” behavior and environment of family and friends. Keep regular routines as much as possible.

- Children are repetitive in their grief, meaning that their grief may appear to be cyclical emotion. They may go through a rough period, appear to be on the upswing, only to dive back into their grief. This may happen throughout their childhood and adolescence. Respond patiently to their uncertainty and concerns. It can take a long time to recover from a loss. Make time to listen and talk about their feelings, especially when they encounter a strong reminder of their loss, such as an anniversary of a death or an encounter with an object or place that triggers a memory.

                                              Source: National Mental Health Association